


don't save her

by nonopiimagines



Series: Femslash February [1]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: F/F, Female Reader, Ferengi, I'm sorry!, Reader-Insert, References to Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, alien reader, references to galactic slave trade, references to women as objects, we are having champagne
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-16 19:18:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19324429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nonopiimagines/pseuds/nonopiimagines
Summary: f!reader x Deanna TroiReader struggles with becoming the only hope her planet has at obtaining peace. Deanna is there when she needs her most.





	don't save her

You remembered this feeling. Cold. Alone. Hungry. You thought you were safe from it. But the past always found its way back to you.

The faint but shrill sound of Ferengi laughter echoed down the hall, filling you with dread.

“She’s valuable.”

“But what’s even more valuable is to save her and give her to the highest bidder.”

“What? They’ll only pay us in their own worthless currency! Or worse, Federation credits.”

“None of the parties are with the Federation yet. Regardless, they have nothing for us. We could sell her elsewhere in the galaxy.”

You knew this conversation well. Or something like it, at least. You heard it constantly on your home planet. The only difference was the traditional currency would’ve sufficed for which ever warring party wanted the priestesses next. And you were the last priestess.

An overwhelming mixture of fear and loneliness washed over you. The cold of your holding cell, the inedible food they fed you, and the sheer terror of being away from your planet–if only a few kilometers up in the atmosphere–was all too much. It felt unending, leaving you feeling vulnerable and utterly exhausted.

—

You awoke to a sharp knock on your door. It took only a moment to remember you were on the Enterprise. Relief took hold, but the fear was still there in the back of your mind, a quiet but vigilant reminder.

Another sharp knock sounded at your door.

You threw the sheets to the side of you and rolled off the bed, quickly padding up to the door and disabling the locking mechanism.

“Deanna?”

“I’m sorry to bother you, Y/N. I know it’s imperative that you get your rest.” Deanna rubbed her palms together nervously, as though she were afraid she was bothering you. But her eyes betrayed her concern and confidence in coming to you.

“It’s okay. I’m glad you did.” You tried to smile. You wanted to smile, but your restless sleep left you groggy and unable to control your face and the emotions it displayed.

“Yes,” Deanna smiled back. “Are you alright? I felt your… uneasiness and apprehension from the Bridge. I felt it best to come to you and offer my services. If you wish to talk about it, that is.”

You nodded and let her into your room. Captain Picard had explained her practice to you briefly after your rescue and subsequent medical examination. You felt a connection to her, though you had only known her a short while. Your priestesshood seemed like something Deanna could understand–more than just what her empath powers would allow her to.

—

“May I sit with you?”

You looked up from your plate of replicated food. It was better than the slop the Ferengi gave you but it still wasn’t the same as the food from your home world.

Deanna stood in front of you. A small smile on her face. Her hair was up to today, you noticed. It looked nice. “Of course. I like your hair.” You scooted over so she could slide onto the bench next to you.

You saw a dusting of pink on her cheeks as she sat down but when you looked back, it had faded. “Thank you. I’m trying something new.”

“I like being able to see your face.” It hadn’t sounded awkward when you had said it but the longer Deanna stayed quiet, the more you thought you had said something inappropriate.

“We are finishing up the negotiations with the four warring factions on your planet,” Deanna replied quickly. “They know your aboard but we are hesitant to let you join the negotiations. They still talk about you like you’re a thing… a resource.”

You shrugged and pushed your plate away. “That’s what I am. That’s what I always will be.” Pausing to turn fully to Deanna and grab her free hand in yours, you continued, “Do you not feel that way as a Betazoid? People want you for your talents first and Deanna second. And then, to think, all of the other Betazoids and half-Betazoids died because if one group can’t have them, no one can. As the last person with empathic powers left, would people not treat you as a commodity? You wouldn’t be a person anymore.”

Deanna’s eyes were wide and glistening with unshed tears. If you couldn’t cry anymore, she would do it for you.

“This is what I feel. I have been resigned to it since my sisters fell.” You left out the part where you wondered if you should join them in death but you were sure Deanna would feel it regardless. Sometimes–this time–the hopelessness was overwhelming. “Unless they change their ways or if I never go back, things will stay the same.”

You let go of her hand and got up, not wanting to look Deanna in the eye. “I will return to my quarters.”

—

A few days had passed since you last saw Deanna. The way you dismissed her last time left a bad taste in your mouth. You felt ashamed for spilling so much of your struggles on to her when she was just trying to be friendly and sit with you. You had mostly stayed to your quarters since then, not wanting to have another situation like that happen again. Your level of stress made it almost inevitable.

Today you felt particularly anxious. It had been almost 20 days on your planet since you were rescued from the Ferengi and negotiations had begun on your home planet. While the Ferengi had fled, your people still hadn’t reached a consensus on how to proceed. From what little information you received from the meetings, you had gathered that the Federation wanted peace amongst your people. They didn’t know what they were asking for and it was only reinforced by the fact that after every meeting, the warlords would leave the ship disgruntled and in silence, their eyes full of mistrust.

You looked down at your planet through the small porthole window in your room. From up here, no one could tell that there was so much bloodshed and loss happening on the surface.

There was a knock on your door, soft and quick like it always was. You knew it was Deanna and you hesitated, your heart jumping in your chest. Should you apologize? Should you greet her like nothing was amiss? Was anything amiss?

You shook your head and went to open the door. “Deanna, I–,” you immediately stopped. This was not the Deanna you were expecting. This Deanna had her hair up like she had when she sat with you in the dining hall and her outfit was not her normal purple jumpsuit but a darker purple dress with a black bolero over the top.

“Hello, Y/N”, she started, looking you right in the eye. Her wide smile faltered a little when she saw how exhausted you looked but she continued, “I wanted to show you something. If you have time. If you want to.”

Your smile was uninhibited as you nodded. “Yes, getting out of my room would be refreshing.”

Deanna beckoned you into the corridor and lead you through the winding hallways, onto a lift, and exited a few decks up. It was only a short distance from the lift when Deanna stopped in front of a large arched door.

“What is this?”

“It’s the holodeck.” Deanna walked up to a console and punched a few buttons before the doors opened to expose a large square room with a grid pattern covering the surface. Turning to you, she continued, “A few of the crew members went on an away-mission to your planet. When they returned, I asked if they could program in a few of the things they saw. You’ll have to judge how accurate they were.” A few more moments on the console and the grid patterned-room changed into a scene you were quite familiar with.

There was no hesitation as you stepped into the room, Deanna trailing behind you. “The temple gardens…” It had felt like years since you’d been there. The lush trees just beginning to bear fruit, the supple grasses, the vibrant fauna, the quiet patter of the stream that wound through it–and the temple itself! Standing tall in the sky, the tips of the spires just skimming the paths of the twin suns. “Goddess take me. It’s all just as I remember it. It’s a relief.”

“You make it sound as though you haven’t seen this place in ages,” Deanna observed behind you, just a few steps away. Her eyes were trained on you more than they were the gardens.

“Well, I haven’t.” You turned to her, a broad smile still plastered on your face. You took a few small steps towards her and grabbed both of her hands, intertwining your fingers together. “When I was found to be a priestess, I was brought here. I was raised here by the sisters. But when you reach a certain age, you’re dispatched to which ever nation needs our powers the most. I thought when the Great Wars started that it may have been destroyed. But if your people have seen it in its splendor as I have, then I am optimistic.”

Deanna smiled briefly and refused to meet your eyes, but her hands held yours tightly. “I’m glad. That is a relief.”

You stayed silent for a moment just looking at her and her big dark eyes and the light shade of pink on her cheeks. You slowly moved your hand up to cradle one of her cheeks and encourage her to look at you. “Thank you, Deanna. This is a beautiful gift.” And you looked in her eyes one last time, to search for the same intent that lie within you before placing your lips on hers and kissing her gently.

—

Deanna had told you that today was the day. You were to meet with the council and attempt to bring peace back to your planet. She didn’t have to tell you to know that this meeting was one of the last efforts to establish a lasting alliance between all warring parties.

You were waiting in the captain’s ready room with Deanna and Captain Picard while Commander Riker situated the generals in the conference room. You tried to remain as stoic as possible. You didn’t want to betray any uncertainty and doubt during the negotiations. While the temple of the goddess remained intact, the weight of being the last priestess alive was beginning to bear down on you. If you couldn’t command peace from the nations, then there was no one left to look to. You were their last, best hope.

“Riker to Picard. We’re ready in the briefing room.”

Picard tapped the communicator on his chest and replied, “We’ll be there shortly, number one.” His gaze lifted from the paperwork on his desk to look at you and Deanna. A heavy sigh escaped his lips, knowing how well previous negotiations and meetings had ended. His optimism was running thin.

“Shall we go?”

You nodded curtly in response. You began to rise up from the couch to follow Picard when Deanna stopped you. She pulled you back down into a quick, tight hug and whispered into your ear, “I believe in you.”

When you pulled away your carefully trained mask broke for just a moment. Your eyes watered and you took a careful breath before grinning back at her. “Thank you.”

—

“We cannot maintain this way of life. How many of us have to die needlessly before everyone is satiated? We have learned that there are bigger threats to our well-being than just what exists on our planet or in our planetary system. There are bigger issues to solve than what we see before us. We have an opportunity. The Federation is here. We can thrive with their help. We may even be able to join them. But first we must overcome the greed and hatred that limit us.

"I propose one thing: unity. If we unify not as one nation but as one planet, then we will thrive. No more throwing money and resources to get ahead of the person beside you. Let’s move forward together.”

—

All your energy and emotional strength had been spent, but you emerged victorious. With Captain Picard’s help, you successfully convinced the generals that their best interests lay in helping each other, working together, and moving forward. Tomorrow, everyone would reconvene to finish documenting the unification procedures.

It was Deanna who had caught you on your way out of the briefing room. After saying your good-byes to the generals, she lead you back to your room, her arm in yours. The journey was quiet but thoughts were crashing around inside your head. It was your last night on-board the Enterprise. If you saw Deanna again, it wouldn’t be for a very long time. You had spent so much time together and the relationship you had with her meant more than words could allow. But you weren’t a fool. There would be no permanence to your attachment after tonight. Deanna had her career and you had yours. You couldn’t and wouldn’t ask her to stay with you, nor could you stay on the Enterprise with her.

Deanna stopped before the door to your room. If she hadn’t been there, you would’ve kept walking. Your exhaustion was catching up to you.

“You did great today,” she complimented after a moment of silence. She brought her hand to your face and used her thumb to stroke your cheek. “But it looks like it took a lot out of you.”

“It was a lot.” A small smile formed on your lips. You grabbed her hand on your cheek and pulled her inside your room. “What’s a celebratory drink from your people, Deanna?”

“Champagne.”

You let go of her hand and asked the replicator for two glasses of champagne. Deanna was situated on the small couch near the viewport, looking at your planet below. Hesitation took you for a moment as you gazed at her. You wanted this to last for as long as it could. You wanted more time. You wanted to be able to show Deanna your planet, what it looks like on the surface, in the cities and towns. You wanted to show her the real temple of the goddess and take her to the real temple gardens and kiss her until she was bright red and breathless.

Deanna quickly turned her head to you. She must’ve felt the spike in your anxiety and the harsh feeling of loneliness and the realization that you’re running out of time. You moved towards her and handed out the glass. She took it with a worried look on her face.

“Are you alright, Y/N?” The way she said it, she already knew the answer but still genuinely cared about you telling her your feelings in your own words.

“I just…” You took a much needed moment to set down your champagne and crawl onto the couch next to her. You rested a your arm on the back of the couch and put your head in your hand, letting your eyes lock onto hers. “I was thinking about my departure tomorrow. I’m going to miss you. I already miss you.”

Deanna hid her blush while taking a sip of her champagne. Her hands gracefully held the stem of the glass like it was the most fragile thing in the galaxy. “I’ll miss you too,” she admitted, setting her champagne down and taking your hand instead.

“Will you stay with me tonight?” You felt like you were on the verge of tears, regardless of her answer.

She pulled you into a tight hug, one of her hands pressing your head into her neck. “Of course.”

**Author's Note:**

> this was for femslash february a million years ago :P
> 
> requests are always open, find me on the tumblr @nonopiimagines


End file.
